While this process of artistic growth is common to all aspiring artists, my experience is distinct in that I am a dancer, specifically a first generation American-born Indian, pursuing the art in a country away from its roots. This statement often has two implications (among others): One - that I have, on some level, a “dual-identity confusion” syndrome, and two – that I am somewhat like a “fish out of water.” I find that these two implications do not hold completely relevant to my experience. Of course there is the feeling of being “Indian” in America, when I would go to school the day after a dance program and have to explain the marker on my hands and feet to the boy who asked “did your little sister painted your nails again?” or have my non-Indian friends come home and meet my ajji (grandma) who has a thick accent and asks a lot of questions in the blunt, “Indian” way; In the same sense, there is the feeling of being “American” in India, when the people ask me to speak slower because of my “accent,” or when I get overcharged by the riksha drivers, who have what sometimes feels like the supernatural power to “see through” my salwar, bindhi, and what I consider a good Indian accent. However I, personally, have never felt confusion as a result of my dual-identiy. In India, yes - I may speak English with the American “accent”, but I feel just as in tune with the culture, if not more, than many of the people there. I have been visiting India every year for the past fourteen years, not as a tourist, but as a performer and rasika, actively involved in the Arts Season. Even in my environment here, in Los Angeles, I am constantly immersed in the cultural scene, through dance classes, rehearsals, performances, music concerts, etc. Therefore, I feel very much like a fish IN water. Perhaps this is why the dual-identity syndrome has never quite taken effect in me. I always felt that the dance was more directly a part of me, than a part of my cultural side. There has never been the confusion as to – “Am I Indian or am I American?” I am very Indian, but I live in America, and like anyone else, my values are blend of my culture and environment.

“One “clash” of my culture and environment that I have encountered has been in making my decision to pursue a career in dance. A career-oriented individual, I have recently finished my Bachelor’s Degree in Mass Communications at University of California, Berkeley, and am continuing my education through a Masters in Fine Arts at University of California, Los Angeles. Having now arrived at a junction, where I make the decision of how big a role I want dance to play in my future, I come face to face with the societal pressure. By “societal” I speak of the Indian community living in American society. Though the community is very supportive of my love for the art, there is still the bias toward the more “conventional” jobs in fields such as medicine, law, engineering, or business, perhaps because of financial struggle that many of the first generation American-settled-Indians faced when they migrated to the country. “So…what are you doing now?....” the question comes with some expectation, and the notion that dance is not suitable as a “career.” I have to confess that I myself held that notion for some time. Even as someone who has known for as long she can remember that dance is what she loves doing the most in life, I did not consider making it a career. I thought for a long time (until very recently, in fact) that I would be able to pursue a career in something else, film or advertisement, and continue to perform on the side. My time spent dancing in India, after college graduation helped me realize my foolish idealism. An art as rich and vast as Bharata Natyam is one that people spend lifetimes trying to master. The dancers who are at the top of the field now breathe dance day in and day out. It would be unfair to the art for me to consider myself a serious dancer, and only give it “part time” attention. I am lucky to have the full support of family in my decision. Of course it is only expected, since they understand my love and passion for it, and also understand the steadfast dedication that goes into it. My mother’s single-minded devotion to the dance and her consequent success has really inspired and motivated me to pursue dance.

The pioneering efforts of dancers and teachers such as my mother have begun a process – that I now undertake – the process of assimilation of Bharata Natyam into the mainstream arts scene in America. As a dancer, living and performing in this country, it is important to make the dance accessible to any audience. How I plan on making my dance accessible is the big mission that lies ahead of me. To what extent am I willing to go to make accomplish this goal? .

I am a strong believer that Bharata Natyam is universally and eternally relevant. The pure dance can fascinate on many levels – its range of body movement, scope for rhythm through the footwork, and splendid combination of vigour, power, grace, and beauty. The emotive scope for Bharata Natyam is infinite. Any theme can be dealt with, and the beauty and dignity with which the ideas are conveyed can touch anyone. Yes, the hand gestures are sometimes very stylized and the themes dealt with are often from Hindu mythology. However, if explained properly, this can all be made accessible to any audience. The facial expressions and body language, which transcend any sort of cultural barriers and communicate so effectively, are only accented by the stylized hang gestures. The mythological stories are an integral part of the culture, which have been passed through the generations due to the universal and eternal relevance that their moral lessons hold today. The bitterness of a betrayed lover, the naughty pranks of a young child, the loyalty of friends, the love and concern of a parent, the humiliation and rage of an assaulted woman…...I believe that the impact of stories and messages communicates to any audience. I personally love exploring the various dimensions of these themes. I also think that it is the perfect way to stir cultural awareness and instill cultural understanding in a wide audience base. Our culture is so vast and rich, and living in the “melting pot” of the world, I feel it important to share

Today “contemporary” dance is gaining popularity. It is inspired by the traditional, but has created its own vocabulary in order to communicate. While I admire the beauty, creativity, and uniqueness of this new genre of dance, I feel that it is extremely important to preserve the traditional, which is unparalleled in its depth, richness, grandeur, and spirituality. .

One thing must be understood: the word “traditional” by no means should imply stagnation in terms of Bharata Natyam. The art form itself is constantly evolving through time. It is the most poignant link from the past to the present.

Having only just embarked on the “journey” into the boundless world of dance, I set my goal at this: to be able to communicate the traditional art, as I know it, to my audiences. I know that as I grow as a dancer and performer, I will explore various themes, structural formats, musical nuances, etc. Yet my constant focus will be on presenting the splendor, beauty, and spirituality of Bharata Natyam.